Dreaming

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I’ve had a few crazy dreams brewing in my mind for the past few years:

  1.  Own a sturdy, intelligent mountain horse that can handle any terrain I put it on.  A horse that will be a good friend to me, who will accept my adoration and adore me in return.  Teach that horse, gently, about shotguns and get it to a place where I can hunt birds behind my bird dogs from off its back in the wild and desolate chukar and Hungarian partridge country of Idaho.  Can you imagine?  Oh, I imagine it daily.  I’m starting to worry about it in my sleep…about making it happen sooner than later.
  2. Find a ranch property big enough and wild enough to erect a little yurt-village area (or maybe wall tents or something delightfully shabbier than that…or a mini-lodge…) where I can have women come visit me with the intention of learning how to bird hunt, how to ride horses, how to cook wild game, how to garden, how to do canning and preserving, how to go forth confidently into nature and the woods and the mountains, how to catch/gut/cook a fish, how to build a fire with wet or dry fuel, how to do all of that stuff that they never learned from their mums and dads.  I don’t want to have a dude ranch.  I want to have a place folks come to where they can learn how to grab life by the horns.  I want to teach independence.  I want to teach homesteading stuff in a natural, everyday setting and help ladies, specifically, change their lives and start living their dreams.  People keep asking me if I’ll teach them how to make jewelry, but that’s not the place my teaching heart is at.  It’s elsewhere.  Somewhere bigger and wilder and more life altering…
  3. I’d like an English setter, an English pointer, a gordon setter and more German shorthaired pointers.  I might even like to breed one these breeds professionally, aiming to keep hunting drive as strong as possible in my kennels bloodlines.
  4. I’d like to have a sense of permanence again.  A feeling of settledness.  A feeling of belonging (more steadfastly) to a place.  I’m ready for a home but we’re picky about how we would like that home to be.  I’d like to have peace about being so unrooted all the time.  I’d like to be better at being nomadic or I ‘d like to no longer be nomadic.  And chickens.

I keep waking up in the morning and evaluating my life, figuring out what still works and what doesn’t.  I navigate like this.  I outline my joys and tether myself to them, dig up, discover and dissect my fears and failures, take what lessons I can from them, and toss the grubby tailings in the rubbish pile.

This is a time for illumination, pace setting, dream getting.  This is life.  This is every moment of life.  Always.  It’s like I need a seatbelt for my spirit at all times so that the force and power of momentum doesn’t slingshot it out of my body and into thin air to be lost and wandering forever.

Comments

  1. I’d be at that yurt village so fast…

  2. Jillian,

    I absolutely 100% support all of your dreams, but I must confess, selfishly, I hope the yurt village one comes to realization first! Save me a spot my dear.

    XX

  3. I’m dreaming about dreaming. Life is busy… lines blurring between following dreams and the chasing of rabbit trails of others ideas. I’m chasing at thoughts and ideas and whispy ideas that I can’t quite yet grasp… rolling them around and deciding which to follow, which to shelve, and which to release back into the wind like a dandelion puff.

    And along those lines I took my first silver smith class yesterday. Today I’m sporting a bold ring hammered and polished and reminding me to move forward with dreams and not to allow myself to spend too terrible much time thinking without action.

  4. Whoa! The yurt village school sounds amazing. Sign me up please. 😉

  5. I love these dreams….and for some unknown reason, especially number two….I don’t beleive for a minute your soul could ever be lost and wandering…your inner compass seems to work too well for that to happen…..xo

  6. Yesssss. I’m in the same place of dreaming and wondering about the wheres / hows / ifs of everything.
    I am SO at the yurt. Keep that dream going. But maybe just *one* day of jewelry making, if we’re all good? please? 😉

  7. I love all of these daydreams!! I would come to your retreat to learn to hunt, be in the wild, and live closer to nature. 🙂

  8. Um, if you’re starting a waiting list for your self sustenance school, please put me on it!! It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for!
    I hope all your dreams come true🙏🏼

    • I’m so glad I mentioned it today. The fact that there are like…four of you…who would be interested in such a thing…

      Who knows what might happen some day!

      I’ve also been dreaming of learning to trick ride on a horse…Lord knows I have the perfect spandex pants collection for just such a thing.

  9. Make that 5 🙂

  10. …and spot #6 please!

  11. And six! I dream of owning a bird dog. Soon, I will make it happen soon. Lovely dreaming, Plume!

  12. And seven! Reserve me a spot too please 🙂

  13. i love it that you want to teach women to grab life by the horns….it’s so YOU.

    ….and, YES….a sturdy intelligent mountain horse.

    Xx

  14. Speaking your dreams out loud brings them to fruition, I believe. I love it all. And yes, please sign me up for the fire-building, preserving, fishing retreat too. I want to learn so much… and then teach my children.

  15. I don’t think your dreams are crazy! I think they are absolutely brilliant! I’d sign up too…for the hunt! And the horse…NICE!! I love your dreams! XX Kris in WA

  16. Such big, beautiful, juicy dreams! I hope every single one comes true. ❤️

  17. YURT me!
    And while ya’ll are on that hunt, I’ll hold down th fort and chop and stack all your wood. I really will! This is definitely a dream to follow.

  18. i love the rustic simplicity of this … reminds me somewhat of my childhood … it is a beautiful idea you have to offer this to women … an alternative to the consume-driven world about us … keep following those dreams 🙂

  19. Elizabeth Waggoner says

    AND ME!!!!!! Looks like you’ll have a full house and we can be your pilot group. I’ll help you with the horses and cooking if you’ll show me the fine points of fly fishing – whatdaya’ say? LOL! Sounds like a fine plan and I’m counting on it coming to fruition for you.

  20. Hurricane Girl says

    Girl you just keep on dreaming those dreams, I’ve been known to have those same dreams at times, the hubby has tried to teach me all those things but I would do much better learning from you. This Tennessee girl is in!!

  21. Hi – I just wanted to let you know that you inspire me. Your art, your dreams. I feel I’ve found a virtual kindred spirit. Thank you.

  22. Thank you, Jillian, I needed these words today. I hope all your dreams do come true! The yurt-village… “Somewhere bigger and wilder and more life altering…” Yes yes! 🙂

  23. Once again, you come up with some delicious words/concepts. “I need a seatbelt for my spirit at all times so that the force and power of momentum doesn’t slingshot it out of my body and into thin air to be lost and wandering forever.” That right there, that’s just beautiful.

  24. THANK YOU for being bold enough to dream out loud. It is so easy to keep dreams inside for fear of being laughed at. I’ve been dreaming of an English setter for years! We keep getting griffons…hard to break away from what you know (and best bird dogs I’ve had, in case you need to add to your list)! Beautiful and inspirational words, thank you, again.

  25. j-bird, i had a dream last night you and i were canning peaches. i turned to see you with a beautiful pregnant belly! i’m not sure what that means, but i bet you’re growing something great from within 🙂

    and here’s to dreams, but also to the making of them!

  26. UHHHH, DEAR LORD YES!! I would be there lickety-split!!!!! PLEASE DO IT ALL!

    I’m feeling the exact need, to settle and plant some oak-strength roots…sigh.

    Sending all my love.

  27. I’m a recent transplant to eastern OR having a hard time finding like-minded women…your school/retreat sounds perfect – can you make it happen soon? 😉 Thanks for your words and passion.

  28. Hi Jillian,
    I grew up in the wilderness to a hunting, fishing, guiding family, all the things you would love to share would benefit so many people seeking that kind of life. Just knowing how to look after yourself and not to be afraid to try something new. Your classes would fill out so quickly..I hope you keep us posted on which of your dreams you will make come true.
    Xo
    Dagmar

  29. Yurtville, Idaho…I think you’re going to need your own zip code.
    I don’t hunt or fish, but I deeply respect those who do it right. So, I can provide the massage therapy, make great salads and help out wherever I’m needed.

  30. I would crawl to Yurt Village on my wobbly knees

  31. What beautiful dreams that you are weaving. Would very much like to learn about living off and in harmony with the land. It feels important for women to gather (pun might be intended) together again doing what we did so long ago. I think it would bring us back to our true pulse. The metronome that beats out our rhythms. That said I hope all of your dreams are made manifest. Bonus that we all get to experience that magic vicariously and perhaps one day alongside in your Yurt village. XO

  32. I just found your blog via a fly fishing photo on tumblr, and it totally speaks to me. An outdoor school for ladies sounds like a fabulous idea, and a refreshing change of pace for a flatlander-farmer from California 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story.

  33. I’m in for # 2!!

    And this whole list. Yes. Do them all, you magic woman.

  34. Sign me up for free-spirit school as well! What an empowering thought…to be able to set out on my own into the wilderness and not have to figure out everything as I go. Dreamy! I have a few years before I can buy land so keep us posted ; ) And a hunting horse is a great idea…adopt a mustang! They are incredible partners and so level-headed! And if you go through the TIP program the more basic stages of training are done for you. Thanks for sharing your dreams : ) Reminds me to hold onto mine and make em happen!

  35. Hell yes you should teach homesteading and hunting for women. I am a long time blog fan and have secretly wanted this to be a reality, and now the secret wanting of my heart are touching your mind. Also, can’t wait for a shop update.

  36. Oh my goodness…. I would love a spot in one of your yurts!!!! That sounds like heaven to me and I would love to listen to the master about how to live off the land.

  37. Amelia Beatriz says

    I’m down too!

  38. This touched me in many ways… I also feel unsettled, longing for something I don’t quite know what is… I’d definitely pop by your yurt village if you ever build one.

  39. How much would I love to apprentice or help muck stalls/pitch in at your women’s homesteading school? Thiiiiiiiiis much. Or perhaps before that, attend and learn and THEN pitch in. I’m not sure I’m qualified, but I’d be willing!

  40. Oh my lord, yes. I love your desire to teach these things that women are not often taught, or even allowed. I very much grew up a city girl, but have found such belonging in the wilderness and alongside nature. What a beautiful thing to hold the space for this transformation 🙂 Add me in as one more whole-hearted supporter.