Today:

I woke up.

I was tired.

I made coffee.

I ate something.  I don’t remember what. Maybe toast.

I answered emails.

A butterfly flew into the Airstream and I managed to catch it with a finger tip and carry it outside.  Those wings looked worn.

I placed a metal order by phone because the internet quit working.  It has a habit of doing that.

I packed a bag, started a truck, drove down the mountain, picked up a package at the post office, picked up lunch to go, filled the truck with a half tank of diesel and drove out of the valley.

I stopped at a lake.

I found a wigwam.

I sat in it.

I felt confined, by my very self.

I took my braids out and removed my boots and socks and then sat down in the wigwam for a while longer and watched a rainy sky turn to something blue.  I threw sticks for Tater.  He loves to swim.

I walked in the lake.  Barefoot.  The rocks hurt my feet.  I collected driftwood and Canada goose feathers.  I looked closely at wildflowers.

I felt more free.  I felt less tired. I felt more myself.  I felt wild.

Tater was chased by a doe.  I was chased by the doe.  I felt bad for the doe.  I think she was protecting a spanky new fawn or was on the cusp of giving birth.  She was probably in deer hysterics.  What’s worse than any female being pushed to hysterics?  Poor thing.

I found a killdeer chick.  I held it.  Its mother was in a panic.  I set it down and walked away.  Its feet were ridiculous, as they always are.  I found a killdeer chick last year, too, but it was older.  It fell in the river, by my feet, while I was fly fishing.  I threw my rod down on the bank, leapt into the river and fetched it from the current.  It had such intelligent eyes.  I set it free.  Its mother was also in hysterics.  Poor thing.

I met two lovely men.  I talked to them for a long while.  They liked Tater Tot.  They want me to make their wedding rings.

I got in my truck and drove home.

It rained.

Then it quit raining.

The sun came out and the sky looked so blue and full of hope.

When I arrived at the Little Cabin In The Woods, my little forest was on the cusp of dusk.  I changed into my running gear and took the dogs out for a spin.  The light in the trees was beautiful.  I leapt, like something feral, over the puddles and mud on the road.  I felt strong and alive.

I ate leftovers for dinner.

I mixed myself a delicious gin and tonic with extra lime and garden strawberries.  It is delicious.  I am sipping it now.  The berries are so scrumptious.  I don’t want to eat anything but berries ever again.

In a moment I will retreat to my bed with a book and a cup of tea.

And a cat.

I miss Robert.  This was a very fine day.

Comments

  1. That last picture. That enormous girl on a rock ring. That butterfly.
    Oh, what a world you’re in! You are a nature girl through and through, you are!
    Wild and free and saving things. Aware and alive and gymnastic moves on the waters edge.
    Seeing you today makes me smile and I’m so inspired by it all. xx

  2. Love.
    That’s all.
    xx

  3. spectacular beauty!
    it was a good day!

    love and light

  4. Gorgeous, soul-filling day.

    We’ve had a husband, wife, baby, and collie living with us (in our two bedroom condo, mind you) for the past four months. They left this morning, on to a new life in Vancouver. I say this because your day sounds like just the kind of recharge I need.

    I love your unapologetic enjoyment of life. I’ve often felt like I need to hide or minimize the reality of my day/life (which I quite enjoy. Working from home. Flexibility. Time.) because I feel resentment from peers/friends. You encourage me to own it.

    It’s all choices, hey?

    • First of all.
      For you to help out a little family like that is…utterly incredible. You and B have blessed them in a huge way.

      Also, DO recharge. Please. I want to say “take all the time you need” but that probably isn’t possible. So, take all the time you can. 🙂

      And yes. Own it. The work is unending. When you grow tired or need a little lift, you simply MUST take the moment for yourself. Everything will wait. The emails, the phone calls, the photo editing will be there tomorrow. You’ll do better work if you aren’t wilted and waggly with a half spirit. Folks who don’t get it, won’t get it. Not your problem. 🙂

      XX

    • I love that phrase “unapologetic enjoyment of life”. YES. Isn’t this what we should all be striving for? What we all deserve?

      LOVE this.

      xoxo

      Cathy

  5. gosh i love this post.

  6. Loved your day, loved your post…if I were there I would have wanted for the lake to surround me..and then the circle of green and then the circle of blue skies…xxx

  7. A lovely post, what a wonderful day

  8. You always transcend something….so special.
    I am so very envious of your day-to-day! I’ve got a bad case of the wanderlust and these photos only fuel the fire!

  9. I know this mode so well: Bring a delicious snack, get behind the wheel, find a place for yourself to simply *BE* out in a thriving slice of nature. Refuel your spirit and breath deeply. Maybe write, maybe draw, maybe photograph, maybe just sit back and relax. You always capture your life so intimately & beautifully, and again (I know I repeat myself) it inspires me! Thanks, jillian, for sharing these moments.

  10. Mmm, good feelings all around, girlfriend.

  11. How this world loves you, Jillian. Thank you for taking it all in and showing us through these wonderful photos. xo, Hbb

  12. What a day! What a day.

  13. Being outside in Nature, soaking in the elements, feeling free in it all really brought about the recharge you needed. I know how this feels and long to just get out there this weekend too. I’ve been dreaming of the beach for too long now, so it must be a trip I will take. Love to you, lovely lady!! 🙂

  14. I love your posts for a number of reasons – the beauty of the photography that let me escape into a new world if not for a moment, the poetic nature of your words, the self-awareness you exhibit. But most of all, it shines a clear reflection to the things that *I* want more of. A wise woman once told me to examine feelings of jealousy I might have when viewing another’s life and use it as INSPIRATION as fuel for my own. If I begrudged someone their lovely strolls in nature or envied the creativity others have, then find ways to give those things to myself. So thank you, for helping me to better understand and feed the things I need as well as sharing your wonderful experiences.

    It’s always a delight Jillian.

    xoxo

  15. cool.

  16. Catherine Chandler says

    You are spectacular. What a day! It sounds blissful, even if you started out tired and worn. The stump with the flowers! What a joy. I can just imagine the peace that that space must bring. I long for days like that. I need one….soon. Just me, by myself, adventuring around in the quiet. Or the noise. As long as it’s away from the city.

  17. Oh, my! What a day! So tumultuous!
    It feels fierce and still in the same moment with so many flickering changes…
    It rained here, almost the whole day. And when it wasn’t raining we were swallowed up in fog, the kind that makes the world look like a dream. I like working quietly in such conditions.
    But now it is beautiful. BEEEEAUTIFUL!

    xo

    p.s. may I share a few photos on pinterest?

  18. sounds like a day filled with very good things, even if Robert was missing from it.

  19. Beautiful! What a charmed day. I love Washington. My auntie and uncle might be selling their home near Bremmerton. (I have relatives in Washington, Oregon, and California.) I feel a little sad about it, but they will probably just move to some other beautiful place on the West Coast that I can visit. So, okay! xo

  20. Thank you for sharing your fabulous little jaunt with us. Such beauty all around. One day I hope to find myself crouching under a wigwam made of driftwood or at least build one with my son.

    And I’ve been a young doe in hysterics…and it was the worst, especially for the hubs. 😉

  21. Hearing about the firefighters in Arizona today made my heart go out to you and Robert, in addition to all of the families. Praise to you for being so strong while your husband is out fighting blazes.

    • I’m with Emily; I thought of you and Robert immediately when I read the headlines. It takes an immense strength both to be a smokejumper and to be married to one. Strength and a serious capacity for joy.

      Wildfires are such unpredictable bits of chaos. The people who take those blazes on are brave in a way I won’t ever know.

  22. I’m thinking of you and your honey. Hope all is well and he’s not in harm’s way in Arizona.
    XOXO

    aimee

  23. praying for safe passage for your lovely, strong husband and his crew during these fiery days in the west

  24. Safe keeping to your fella and to all the others who shoulder the burden of caring for places, people and animals. I wish everyone could remain whole and return to their families. Much sympathy to the Arizonans.

  25. I’m with the others, thinking of you during this fiery time. My heart hurts for the loved ones of those brave, brave, beautiful men, and want to say thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart to you and your man for all you both sacrifice.

  26. Patricia Klein says

    So relieved to see your post and to hear that you’re both ok. Keep sharing your hopes and fears; we’re here, listening.